Finding love’s not easy. Even if you’re bi

This was originally published by You can read the piece here

As a woman living in a relatively-sized city (Perth!) with more bars than you can count, you’d think it would be easy for me to meet somebody who I would be interested in dating.

They just need to tick the following boxes:

Has a sense of humour and can laugh at themselves
Has passion
Likes to kiss
Is not afraid of strong women
Likes music
Enjoys a drink
Between the rough ages of 28 and 35.

Now, as a bisexual woman, many people would argue that I have more chances than most.
You’d be surprised.

In the past year, I’ve had roughly seven dates. Now you might think that’s a lot but, in my defense, I have been “seeing” someone for the past month or two and we have had five or so dates [take “seeing” to mean whatever you want – that’s not what I’m here to discuss].

Date number one was with Tall Hot Guy From That Bar.
I spent three weeks convinced we were totally going to be together forever. Obvs.
The conversation, the sex, I got on well with his friends. PERFECT.

Then he went travelling and fell in love with this gorgeous blonde girl and has now moved to the States to marry her.
You can actually see the love in their eyes. It’s so cute. I’m so happy for them (99.99% of the time). (The other 0.01% of the time I remember that I’m alone and get a little bitter)

Date number two was with My Mate’s Mate that I Met At Her Party.
He’s really nice and is a friend but unfortunately, while there was attraction there, I missed that spark.
Smart, funny, engaging, heaps of the same interests, but just missing that little thing. Which is annoying.

Date number three was with My Mate’s Other Mate that I Also Met At Her Party.
Awesome guy. Smart, funny, engaging, heaps of the same interests. Wasn’t ready to date.

Dates number four, five, six, etc were with Guy I Met At A Party That Time.
Now this one is funny, so smart, tall, athletic, creative, thoughtful… the list goes on.

Outside of those four people I have kissed four other people. Three of them were girls.

One of the girls said something along lines of “Oh I haven’t done this for a long time.”
One of them said “I don’t usually like girls, but there’s something about you.”
And the other one [who is legitimately bisexual] invited me to have sex with her and her boyfriend.

How is it possible that I have only kissed three girls in a year? Seriously?!

At what point did I become a No Fly Zone for other girls unless they were straight or in a relationship?

photo (13)







Now where I live we have two gay venues. A pub/club and a club/bar.
In addition to those venues, there is a multitude of places that everyone knows are gay friendly; like the entirety of Mount Lawley.

So I pose the question, why is it so hard to meet a girl?
Especially one who hasn’t slept with anyone that I know.
I obviously have no issues meeting men, whether that be for sex, one date, two dates, or whatever. So that’s not the issue here.
The issue is how to meet women.

I don’t spend a lot of time on the traditional “scene”, but there must be other people out there who feel the same way as me? What happens if I want to meet a girl who hasn’t drank 15 vodka red bulls before she left the house. (Because wine is always better. Duh!)

I have dated using Tinder (we’ll use the term ‘dated’ loosely) but I find it impersonal and there’s definitely a lack of women on there.
I know that Pink Sofa’s out there but I can’t use that on the move because there isn’t an app.
Do I have to succumb to the “scene” to find a woman or is there another way?

Personally I think there should be other options. Or am I missing something here?

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